Back to the "REAL" World

So here i am...sitting in the library and reflecting on this last week of climbing and how it has changed me as a person.  I can't even begin to explain what has happened to me on the inside and how i have began making changes to become the person that God wants me to be.  The only words that come to mind are relief and absolute terror.  How can i change who i am on the outside to represent what i am on the inside?!  Well, a good friend of mine put it this way (after slapping me in the face) , "you are not going to wake up tomorrow and instantly be that person...it takes work." truer words have never been spoken.  Another development that has come from this last week is that i have sworn off TV.  I just do not have time to watch the television when i have a list of books that is currently at 34 and constantly growing.  I'm going to completely jump subjects, which does not really matter since this will most likely never be read by anyone but me.  I am depressed.  I work on the kill floor of a meat processing plant and when a person is surrounded by that much death and that much negative energy it wears on them.  The more i work, the more depressed i get.  I need to get out.  I feel so empty on the inside.  BUT!!! I'm working on that too.  I just started reading Heart of Darkness which I have instantly liked because Conrad is so descriptive you get lost in your own mind.  I have also been reading a short story now and then from Welcome to The Monkey House and find myself wanting to write more and more, and the more i write, the more i read.  I am finally in a never ending cycle that i love...  On that note...i need to find a job that i enjoy...